Ranking the SEC after Week 1


Preseason polls are so stupid. Polls before October are so stupid. I’ve never seen something so stupid. So naturally here is my ranking of the SEC’s member institutions based on what we’ve seen so for. This ranking is not stupid. Oh… and YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHERE I HAVE AUBURN.

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1. Alabama (1-0)

The Crimson Tide are only ranked in the top spot to make Auburn’s victory over them appear even better.

Last week: beat Louisville 51-14

2. Auburn (1-0)

A great QB and a great defense won a great game against a great team. Hard to argue they shouldn’t be higher.

Last week: beat Washington 21-16

3. Georgia (1-0)

What do we know about Georgia after they beat Austin Peay? I know that some people are mad that the shiny new freshman isn’t starting. That’s about it.

Last week: beat Austin Peay 45-0

4. LSU (1-0)

Miami was way overrated, so why does that mean LSU is that great? You can have both, but it’s harder to prove.

Last week: beat Miami 33-17

5. Ole Miss (1-0)

Ole Miss gonna be good this year? They looked decent against a decent team. We’ll see…

Last week: beat Texas Tech 47-27

6. Mississippi State (1-0)

Mississippi State has the same quarterback that went a pedestrian 9-4 last year along with a first-year head coach. I am still confused as to why people think they are being underhyped.

Last week: beat Stephen F. Austin 63-6

7. Texas A&M (1-0)

Ok, it was Northwestern State. And…?

Last week: beat Northwestern State 59-7

8. South Carolina (1-0)

What do we know about South Carolina after they beat Coastal Carolina? We know that we won’t know anything until they play Georgia this week.

Last week: beat Coastal Carolina 49-15

9. Florida (1-0)

What do we know about Florida after they beat Charleston Southern? I know they looked really excited about scoring some touchdowns on a really bad team. And a jump pass? Really?

Last week: beat Charleston Southern 53-6

10. Missouri (1-0)

What do we know about Missouri after they beat UT-Martin? Nothing.

Last week: beat UT-Martin 51-14

11. Kentucky (1-0)

The Wildcats trailed the Chippewas for a while, but eventually pulled it out. It seems to me that Kentucky will be Kentucky this year. Not bottom of the barrel, but not far from it.

Last week: beat Central Michigan 35-20

12. Arkansas (1-0)

What do we know about Arkansas after they beat Eastern Illinois? Nothing.

Last week: beat Eastern Illinois 55-20

13. Vanderbilt (1-0)

The ‘dores beat the Blue Raiders for the 4th consecutive season. Update the College Football Imperialism map.

Last week: beat Middle Tennessee 35-7

14. Tennessee (0-1)

Tennessee ended last season as the lowest ranked team in the SEC. They are the only team that lost in Week 1, so they will stay here until they can get their act together.

Last week: lost to West Virginia 40-14

Do you agree with these rankings? What did I get wrong? Leave yours in the comments.