Every Conversation I’ve Had About Petrino This Week

Since the middle of the season, when it first looked like Chizik wouldn’t make it to next season, the Petrino bandwagon began to grow and grow each week. I tried to ignore it because I wasn’t going to talk about coaches unless Chizik was gone.

Now that he is, I’ve thrown my two cents out on Twitter about my dislike for the idea of hiring Petrino. With the growing minority becoming louder and louder, I’ve had multiple conversations with “Petrino-lovers”, or PLs for short. They have all gone almost the exact same way. I’m beginning to think PLs all have some sort of checklist of points because they all use the exact same ones, almost in the same order, and exact same verbiage.

Many of these conversations have happened between friends and me, and to those guys, I respectfully disagree (except Blake Ells, I really hate that guy). To the ones I don’t know that think I should quit the site or die in a fire because I don’t want your guy as my school’s coach, have a nice day.

So because I’m tired of typing my same points to their same points over and over, I’m just going to put it all here so that we don’t continue to waste our time.

Them: “Petrino is the obvious choice. It’s not even close.”

Me: “He is a bad choice. We can do better.”

Them: “Oh get off your high horse. Quit being holier than thou. You got the Auburn Creed tattooed on your chest? Everybody makes mistakes.”

Me: “First off, this has nothing to do with the Creed. I am not saying anything about ‘Auburn man’ or that whole spiel. And yes, everybody does make mistakes, but most learn from their mistakes after the 1st, 2nd, or even 3rd time. He has too much of a history. Too much baggage.”

Them: “You know that guy who’s name is on the field? Pat Dye? Yeah he wasn’t a saint.”

Me: “No he wasn’t, but two wrongs don’t make a right, and that is no reason to hire a football coach. I understand you are only mentioning Coach Dye to prove that a man most of us loved as a football coach also made mistakes, but that does make the decision to hire or not hire Petrino any different. How about we get a guy who will win that doesn’t have a history?”

Them: “What about forgiveness? Jesus says we should forgive.” (Yes, I’ve actually had people bring up Jesus in this.)

Me: “First off, he didn’t do anything to me, so I don’t have to forgive him for anything. Second, I’m pretty sure Jesus didn’t say anything about forgiving someone by handing over the keys to your football program. Auburn is worried about getting a man that will successfully run their program, not go out of their way to give a guy a third, fourth, or fifth chance because it’s the nice thing to do. That is not their job or their duty.”

Them: “So you’re going to overlook the best and obvious choice because the guy had a girlfriend?”

Me: “Not specifically. That was just the icing on the cake. He’s left every job in a shady or negative way. He undermined Tommy Tuberville with Jetgate. He toyed with Louisville for years, claiming to be committed, but interviewing for multiple jobs every year. After claiming to be committed to the Louisville fans and AD his last year there, he left for the Falcons. With three games left in the NFL season, he left the team high and dry. Did he tell the players? No. He simply left them a paragraph on a piece of paper. Then at Arkansas, he had an affair, where he allocated school funds to pay his mistress. When that affair was exposed with the motorcycle wreck, he tried to cover it up and lied to his AD. That is a career of lying and negativity. Study history or you will relive it. ”

Them: “Yeah, but I think he’s probably changed. He’s probably pretty desperate.”

Me: “Auburn should hire someone because you hope he all of a sudden has changed the way he’s been for a decade?”

Them: “Oh whatever, I just want a winner. Petrino is a winner and he will win immediately.”

Me: “Really? Petrino’s SEC record is 17-15 and he is 0-4 against Alabama. He’s never won a division title. Never even played for the SEC Championship. He did win the Big East and C-USA at Louisville. Is that what you want?”

Them: “Yeah, but he was at Arkansas with 3-star recruits. Think about what he’ll do with our talent pool.”

Me: “Well, the 3-star recruits are his problem. He has never been a strong recruiter. He usually gets a good quarterback, a halfway decent running back, and a few good receivers. He doesn’t care about or recruit a strong defense. Second, Arkansas is not Vanderbilt. Houston Nutt took Arkansas to the SEC Championship Game. Houston Nutt won ten games once and nine games three times. They have been in the top half of the SEC for over a decade. By the way, he’s the only SEC coach to lose to Ohio State in a BCS game. (slight troll there)”

Me: “Oh, and he’s also an a-hole, and even though I hate this word, a jerk.”

Them: “We need an a-hole. We need somebody tough. Saban is an a-hole and look at what he’s done.”

Me: “Saban is a different type of a-hole. Saban is a coaching a-hole. Petrino is a belittling a-hole. He’s just not the guy we need.”

Them: “Oh so you just want a ‘good, nice guy’ don’t you? Did you see what us having a ‘good guy’ got us?”

Me: “Well, yeah, that ‘good guy’ got us a National Championship, but if you mean the last two years, I don’t think being a good or Godly man is what brought that on. Being softer and less of a disciplinarian brought that on. But that doesn’t mean any other nice or good guy would be that way as well. There is no connection. You can have a tough coach who’s also a good guy. You don’t have to have a belittling, lying a-hole to win football games.”

Them: “Whatever. Winning solves everything. Once he wins us ten games next year, you’ll shutup.”

Me: “Again, winning is not a guarantee in any way, but did winning solve and hide and dumb down everything he was exposed to be doing behind the scenes at Arkansas? No. That’s why was he fired. His record was not enough to save what he had done because *gasp* it’s really not all about winning.”

Them: “Oh, who do you want then?”

Me: “I’d take any number of guys.” (I then name a few guys that would be perfectly fine choices.)

Them: “Well I hope you’re ready for another decade of losing.”

Me: “Right, because no other coach besides Petrino will win a football game. And tell me the last coach that did not win at Auburn. Hint: you’ll have to go back a few decades.”

Them: <silence>

Me: “Auburn will be better off without Petrino. He brings too much negativity. The media/nation will just have one more reason to poke fun at and bash Auburn for being the first school to hire back the chronic liar. Haven’t we had enough of that?”

Them: “I don’t care what anybody thinks. We’ve been through it before and we can do it again.”

Me: “Or we could just hire a good coach without a decade’s worth of baggage and win with him.”

Them: “Petrino is the only option if we want to win, and I JUST WANNA WIN!!!!! You just gonna stop going to games if he’s hired?”

Me: “Alright, we’re done.”

And that’s how they’ve all gone. Maybe not in that order, but those are the talking points. Bottom line, PLs “just wanna win” at all costs. They are ignoring a decade’s worth of history, lying, and scandal because they hope a guy has changed his ways. They are jaded because of the number of losses from last season. Auburn is constantly in the negative spotlight to the nation, and the last thing we need to do is to bring in a guy who has nothing but negativity attached to his name.

I want to win just as much as anybody. Probably more than anybody. But I don’t want to do it with that man. Winning is not enough. Winning with a guy we can all be proud of is the Auburn I know and want. And you can call that high and mighty all you want, but it’s just stupid to ignore history. I don’t care what he did in his personal life. I care that he’s lied everywhere. Nobody can trust him because of that.

Again, and listen this time, I’m not saying that the Auburn coaching job is not about winning. I’m saying that just winning is not enough. Auburn can do better. Auburn does not need Bobby Petrino.

Leave your hate-filled comments based off my thoughts on a coaching candidate in the comments section below.