‘War Eagle’ is the 5th Best Mascot?! Please…

I’m sure most have you seen the rankings of the ‘Top 12 Coolest Mascots in College Football” by now, and I’m sure most of you have already looked at the list in disbelief. Auburn’s ‘War Eagle’ is the 5th best mascot in the nation? Yeah…sure.

Well, as we all know, ‘War Eagle’, Spirit, Nova, etc. isn’t Auburn’s mascot, and to their credit, they do mention that in the rankings. However, if they are going to count ‘War Eagle’ as a mascot, then how they decided that there were four others that were better is beyond me and anyone else that has ever seen the pregame flight, and that includes visiting teams’ fans.

These voters somehow thought the releasing of an eagle from near the highest point of Jordan-Hare Stadium, over 90,000 screaming fans, to have it circle the field for over a minute and then swoop down to midfield wasn’t the “coolest” thing you could ever expect to see at a college sporting event? I mean it has an infinite amount of possibilities once it’s released: fly over to the Haley Center, leave a nice little present on the visiting teams’ band, or show loyalty to the school and entertain the fans. I have seen every single flight, and every time, besides Tiger’s last flight where she landed on the sideline, ‘War Eagle’ has done it’s duty.

Plus, Auburn’s “mascot” performed/flew at the 2006 Winter Olympics. What other school can say that?

So let’s take a look at the top four of the list: the mascots that are “cooler” than a freakin’ trained eagle.

4. Mike the Tiger, LSU – This one is kind of tough to argue against because it hits close to home. It would be awesome if Auburn got their own live tiger, but I’d rather see it run out on the field with four or five male cheerleaders holding on for dear life, instead of slowly circling the field in a cage before games. Maybe we could even get a little revenge on Georgia for the Robert Baker incident.

So yeah, tigers are awesome, but a flying eagle beats a tiger in a slow-moving cage anyday.

3. Chief Osceola, Florida State – Don’t get me wrong, I love the riding on the horse with the flaming spear thing. When I was younger, and I saw the “Chief” spike the spear into the field, I remember thinking “whoa, this is serious”, but as I got older and realized it was just a college student with a good tan, it sort of lost its luster.

In comparison to the eagle, I can imagine it’s probably pretty simple to tell a 20 year old guy to ride on a horse to midfield and throw a flaming stick into the ground. How do you even start to tell an eagle to fly in a circle over the loudest sound they have ever heard?

2. UGA, Georgia – I have never understood the fascination with Georgia’s English bulldog mascot. It’s like people don’t realize that they do exist outside of Athens. You know you can probably go get one at the Humane Society, right?

This is probably the worst entry on the list, and it’s the second best? He just stands there…with his two-inch legs. What is so “cool” about that? If I brought a dog to the stadium and stood on the sideline, would I then be a considered cool?

There isn’t even a reason to compare UGA to ‘War Eagle’. Flying or standing with a leash around your neck? You be the judge.

1. Ralphie the Buffalo, Colorado – Ok, I’ll admit a huge beast, one of the largest land mammals, running onto the field with the possibility that it that could easily wipe out fifty people in two seconds is pretty cool, but again, there’s the whole leashed thing. We’ve established that the eagle has infinite options once it’s let go, but he does what he’s supposed to do. You give me enough rope and few good men, and I can run Ralphie out on the field, I’ve got spare time.

Now if Ralphie was a tiger, and Auburn owned him and let him run out before Auburn games, it might share the top spot with the eagle flight. That would be much cooler because as we all know…tigers eat buffaloes.

If you haven’t seen it, here’s the rest of the list. As you can see it’s pretty much a joke. The Stanford Tree?! What are your thoughts?

Here’s a video of the flight for anybody who hasn’t seen it (taped by a visiting fan by the way):