Ranking the SEC after Week 8


After the 8th week of the season, we know who is bad. We also know who is not terribly bad. But if you want to know who the 2-7 teams are, I don’t really know. Oh, and YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHERE I HAVE AUBURN.

1. Alabama (8-0)

Tua spends the first quarter standing behind a good offensive line for 5 minutes and throwing 50 yard bombs. Most are caught for touchdowns. He gets a minor injury in the 3rd quarter and Jalen comes in for garbage time. The other team scores 20-30 points while down 40. That’s it. That’s the extent of Alabama football in 2018.

Last week: ranked #1, beat Tennessee 58-21

2. LSU (7-1)

LSU scored one touchdown against Mississippi State and that drive started on the Bulldogs 3-yard line. I’m going to say it again: they are not as good as their wins over Auburn and Florida and even Georgia suggest. They are typical LSU since the Saban-effect wore off. Good defense, mediocre offense, heavy voodoo.

Last week: ranked #2, beat Mississippi State 19-3

3. Georgia (6-1)

The Bulldogs did not play. They were home licking their wounds.

Last week: ranked #3, BYE WEEK

4. Florida (6-1)

The Gators did not play. They were home trying to figure out how they beat LSU and then almost lost to Vanderbilt.

Last week: ranked #4, BYE WEEK

5. Auburn (5-3)

Auburn scored 21 points in the 3rd quarter at Ole Miss, looking like the team we know has been there. Next week is for resting and putting that 3rd quarter performance in all 4 quarters.

Last week: ranked #8, beat Ole Miss 31-16

6. Texas A&M (5-2)

Texas A&M did not play. They were home realizing their last 4 games were a loss to Alabama and wins over Arkansas, Kentucky, and South Carolina by a touchdown or less.

Last week: ranked #5, BYE WEEK

7. Kentucky (6-1)

Kentucky beats Florida and Mississippi State, then loses in OT to Texas A&M, and then beats Vanderbilt by a 4th quarter touchdown. Let’s pump those brakes.

Last week: ranked #6, beat Vanderbilt 14-7

8. Mississippi State (4-3)

Cannot throw the ball (to their own team). Can run the ball. But now everybody knows that. LSU did nothing against them and never looked in fear.

Last week: ranked #7, lost at LSU 19-3

9. Ole Miss (5-3)

This team can score a lot of points… when they aren’t playing good teams, or teams with defenses as good as Auburn’s.

Last week: ranked #9, lost to Auburn 31-16

10. South Carolina (3-3)

South Carolina did not play. Or I assume they didn’t because their quarterback was at the Opelika game.

Last week: ranked #10, BYE WEEK

11. Missouri (4-3)

Missouri can beat a non-SEC team, can’t they? It’s like all they do in this sport.

Last week: ranked #12, beat Memphis 65-33

12. Tennessee (3-4)

The Vols felt the effects of playing Auburn the week before their trip to Alabama. Just really unfair.

Last week: ranked #11, lost to Alabama 58-21

13. Vanderbilt (3-5)

Not sure what to think of the Commodores. For two weeks in a row, they’ve give Florida and Kentucky all they’ve wanted… but still lost.

Last week: ranked #13, lost at Kentucky 14-7

14. Arkansas (2-6)

The best one-win team in the nation because the best two-win team in the nation.

Last week: ranked #14, beat Tulsa 23-0

Do you agree with these rankings? What did I get wrong? Leave yours in the comments.