Ranking the SEC after Week 5


After the 5th week of the season, we know who the bad teams are. I’m not sure if we know about the top half just yet. Oh, and YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHERE I HAVE AUBURN.

1. Alabama (5-0)

In front of five fans, the Alabama Crimson Tide beat a team that lost to Coastal Carolina. Congrats.

Last week: ranked #1, beat Louisiana-Lafayette 56-14

2. Georgia (5-0)

Georgia has yet to show us that they are nearly as good as they were last year. In fact, giving up 12 points to Tennessee tells me they aren’t.

Last week: ranked #2, beat Tennessee 38-12

3. LSU (5-0)

LSU has one good win. They rest are just sort of like… okay?

Last week: ranked #3, beat Ole Miss 45-16

4. Auburn (4-1)

PAGING THE TEAM THAT BEAT WASHINGTON AND SHOULD’VE BEATEN LSU BY 20.

Last week: ranked #4, beat Southern Mississippi 24-13

5. Kentucky (5-0)

Kentucky has done this a lot recently. They keep people excited until basketball season starts, and then they’re gone.

Last week: ranked #5, beat South Carolina 24-10

6. Missouri (3-1)

Watch out. I hate Missouri, but I think they are decent. They’ll challenge Kentucky.

Last week: ranked #7, BYE WEEK

7. Texas A&M (3-2)

The Aggies put 23 on Alabama two weeks ago, then they only put 24 on Arkansas last week. I don’t think this team is that good (I’m obviously talking about Alabama).

Last week: ranked #6, beat Arkansas 24-17

8. Florida (4-1)

Don’t act like you really did something. You won’t even finish in the top 3 of the SEC East.

Last week: ranked #11, beat Mississippi State 13-6

9. Mississippi State (3-2)

Ouch. Tough loss in the Mullen Bowl. He basically did nothing and still beat you on his old turf.

Last week: ranked #9, lost to Florida 13-6

10. South Carolina (2-2)

Yep, it’s over. Any excitement for the season is gone.

Last week: ranked #10, lost at Kentucky 24-10

11. Ole Miss (3-2)

Yep, it’s over. Any excitement for the season is gone.

Last week: ranked #8, lost at LSU 45-16

12. Vanderbilt (3-2)

So uh, Vandy, like, legit almost lost to Tennessee State.

Last week: ranked #12, beat Tennessee State 31-27

13. Tennessee (2-3)

I wonder what it’s like to have a state name for your school and be this bad.

Last week: ranked #13, lost to Georgia 38-12

14. Arkansas (1-4)

Arkansas knows… but they seriously could’ve beaten Texas A&M. What is this team?

Last week: ranked #14, lost to Texas A&M 24-17

Do you agree with these rankings? What did I get wrong? Leave yours in the comments.