Ranking the SEC after Week 4


There was many a blowout in the SEC this past week. Teams were exposed that didn’t really need to be exposed… and YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHERE I HAVE AUBURN.

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1. Alabama (4-0)

Don’t you love when the media props up a team so that when Alabama beats them we forget that they are actually beating Vanderbilt?

Last week: #1, beat Vanderbilt 59-0

2. Georgia (4-0)

Don’t you love when the media props up a team so that when Georgia beats them we forget that they are actually beating Mississippi State?

Last week: #2, beat Mississippi State 31-3

3. Auburn (3-1)

Near perfection against a really bad team.

Last week: #3, beat Missouri 51-14

4. Texas A&M (3-1)

I will not get excited about Texas A&M scoring 50 on Arkansas. My mom could do that. I will fault them, though, for giving up 43 to Arkansas. No respectable team should do that.

Last week: #7, beat Arkansas 50-43

5. Mississippi State (3-1)

How you gon’ beat LSU by 30 and lose to Georgia by 30? Oh I see, because you’re Mississippi State and LSU is not good.

Last week: #4, lost at Georgia 31-3

6. LSU (3-1)

Guys, LSU is not good. They were blown out by Mississippi State and struggled with Syracuse. Coach O probably won’t get the time Les Miles got in his last few seasons.

Last week: #6, beat Syracuse 35-26

7. Florida (2-1)

Without complete idiocy from Kentucky, Florida would’ve lost to the Wildcats by 10. I’m counting this as a half-loss.

Last week: #5, beat Kentucky 28-27

8. Arkansas (1-2)

Play a little defense, would you? Just a little.

Last week: #11, lost to Texas A&M 50-43

9. Kentucky (3-1)

I don’t even want to look at you right now. The same way you didn’t look at a uncovered receiver… TWICE.

Last week: #8, lost to Florida 28-27

10. South Carolina (3-1)

So as I brought up last week, maybe South Carolina just isn’t that good. They beat NC State, who beat Florida State, but other than that, they haven’t really lit it up. It took a Herculean effort by Opelika’s own, Jake Bentley, to bring them back to beat… Louisiana Tech?

Last week: #9, beat Louisiana Tech 17-16

11. Vanderbilt (3-1)

You are Vanderbilt. As we always knew. You are Vanderbilt.

Last week: #10, lost to Alabama 59-0

12. Ole Miss (2-1)

Ole Miss did not play. Are they still in Cal making the SEC look bad?

Last week: #13, Bye Week

13. Tennessee (3-1)

If Florida’s win over Kentucky counts as a half-win. Your win over UMass counts as a tenth-win.

Last week: #12, beat UMass 17-13

14. Missouri (1-3)

You know what? I’ve pushed really hard to get Missouri out of the SEC for the last years. I want to change my tune. Let’s keep them, but let Auburn play them every year. That was fun.

Last week: #14, lost to Auburn 51-14