Ranking the SEC after Week 5

There aren’t too many changes in the rankings this week. Five weeks are still not enough to have a clue about how good anybody is, but nothing really happened to make any big moves. But we’ve made our mind up on Tennessee. Give them the national championship now! Oh, and YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHERE I HAVE AUBURN!

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1. Alabama (5-0)

They are beating teams they should beat, and their next two weeks will appear to be tough games, but they’re really not. I almost fell asleep just thinking about them.

(Last week: #1, beat Kentucky 34-6)

2. Texas A&M (5-0)

The Aggies didn’t do what we thought they should do to one of the worst teams in the SEC. Maybe they weren’t up for the game? I still think they are near the top of the SEC, but that could change as it has each of the last few seasons.

(Last week: #2, beat South Carolina 24-13)

3. Ole Miss (3-2)

A convincing win over Memphis isn’t what it used to be, but the Rebels can score. The question is if they can stop other teams from scoring. They haven’t really done that yet.

(Last week: #3, beat Memphis 48-28)

4. Auburn (3-2)

The Tigers are good when they execute. It’s as simple as that. And yes, I think they could or have beaten every team below them.

(Last week: #4, beat UL-Monroe 58-7)

5. LSU (3-2)

The Purple Tigers surprised me. They held what seemed to be a good Missouri offense in check and they scored tons of points 6 days after firing their coach. Glad we got that one out of the way.

(Last week: #8, beat Missouri 42-7)

6. Tennessee (5-0)

The Vols should honestly be lower than this. I have never seen a worse team feed off bad teams that people think are good and win in ways that aren’t just lucky; they are of Hell. No, they are not 2013 Auburn. Not even close. That team beat good teams. This team is barely beating bad teams and people are all over them for it.

(Last week: #5, beat Georgia 34-31)

7. Arkansas (4-1)

We’ll see how good Arkansas really is as they host Alabama this weekend. Actually, no we won’t. They’ll probably keep it really close and lose at the end, but then just end up being the same season-spoiling Arkansas after that.

(Last week: #6, beat Alcorn State 52-10)

8. Florida (4-1)

A 7-point win against Vandy would normally drop you in most polls. NOPE. The AP moved the Gators up five spots. FIVE. If the rest of the SEC wasn’t mediocre, they’d be down there near the bottom.

(Last week: #7, beat Vanderbilt 13-6)

9. Georgia (3-2)

Georgia went from my favorite team to my 2nd-most hated team in the span of 30 seconds. How you let Hail Mary type plays beat you this often is beyond me. They will fall apart after this loss, but likely play the game of the century against Auburn in a few weeks.

(Last week: #9, lost to Tennessee 34-31)

10. Missouri (2-3)

LSU is not Delaware State, are they? Get them out of the SEC.

(Last week: #10, lost to LSU 42-7)

11. Mississippi State (2-2)

The Maroons just aren’t that good. I’m sorry. They aren’t. No, I’m not sorry. It’s #StateHateWeek.

(Last week: #11, Bye week)

12. Vanderbilt (2-3)

The Commodores may not be that terrible, but they just can’t do anything real to get them out of the cellar. They won’t care in 20 years when they are replacing my knees.

(Last week: #12, lost to Florida 13-6)

13. Kentucky (2-2)

A noble effort against the Tide keeps you in the same spot. Next to worst.

(Last week: #13, lost to Alabama 34-6)

14. South Carolina (2-3)

A noble effort against Texas A&M keeps you in the same spot. Worst.

(Last week: #14, lost to Texas A&M 24-13)