Week 1 Predictions
This Week: 8-5
Vanderbilt at Miami(OH) – Vanderbilt will get down 3-0, but a three touchdown performance (2 on the ground, 1 in the air) by Vandy quarterback Chris Nickson will be too much for the Gridiron Szczerbiaks.
Vanderbilt 34, Miami(OH) 13
Vanderbilt 34, Miami(OH) 13 – SUCCESS!
North Carolina St. at South Carolina – The Gamecocks will overcome 4 interceptions to score 31 points in the second half against the Wolfpack.
South Carolina 34, North Carolina St. 0
South Carolina 34, North Carolina St. 0 – SUCCESS!
Hawaii at Florida – You would think that anytime you get rid of a guy named June that things would have to get better. For the Rainbow Warriors (I’m noticing a theme with this team), this is not the case.
Florida 49, Hawaii 14
Florida 56, Hawaii 10 – SUCCESS!
Appalachian State at LSU – I have nothing against Appy State. They are a great small college football team. They are awesome in the Sub-Bowl-Small-Team-Champsionship Division or whatever it’s called. But here’s the deal…Michigan sucked last year…LSU doesn’t.
LSU 31, Appalachian State 10
LSU 41, Appalachian State 13 – SUCCESS!
Mississippi State at Louisiana Tech – Five years ago this would have been a no-brainer to pick the Bulldogs from Ruston, but now the only color that matters is maroon…whatever that means. This will be a close one.
Mississippi State 21, Louisiana Tech 17
Louisiana Tech 22, Mississippi State 14 – FAILURE
Georgia Southern at Georgia – Georgia will thump their southern counterpart to further fuel the over-hype for one more week. You do realize this same team lost to South Carolina and almost lost to Vandy last year right? End of the year strength…sure.
Georgia 38, Georgia Southern 7
Georgia 45, Georgia Southern 21 – SUCCESS!
Western Illinois at Arkansas – Welcome back, Bobby. Here’s a team nobody has honestly ever heard of to hide your team’s weaknesses for a week.
Arkansas 30, Western Illinois 10
Arkansas 28, Western Illinois 24 – SUCCESS!
Memphis at Ole Miss – Ole Miss should be pretty good, even though they have an idiot running their football team that acts like he’s never won a football game anytime his team scores a point. The Rebels have a Texas-caliber quarterback in Jevon Snead, and they return some decent starters, or so Lou Holtz told me. Memphis has beaten Ole Miss with better teams, but I think they are supposed to be pretty bad this year.
Ole Miss 20, Memphis 7
Ole Miss 41, Memphis 24 – SUCCESS!
Alabama at Clemson (Georgia Dome) – Some call this the game of the teams most recently beaten by Auburn. Some call this part one of Tommy’s Tigers whooping up on Alabama. Either way, it should be close in the first half. I think hype/excitement will play a major factor for Alabama, but everything should settle down and Clemson’s talent (that has and always will underachieve) will be too strong for all those “5-star” freshmen. Bama’s Back, Ro’ Tie! Whatever.
Clemson 23, Alabama 17
Alabama 31, Clemson 10 – FAILURE
LA-Monroe at Auburn – For this game’s prediction, please read the Appalachian State/LSU prediction, but substitute Alabama for Michigan, LA-Monroe for Appy State, and Auburn for LSU. Was that confusing? Here’s a little nugget: in 2004 (the 13-0 season), Auburn started off the season with a 31-0 victory over these same Warhawks. So just to keep things superstitious, I’ll predict the same here…even though I know it will be a lot worse. Go Kodi Todd!
Auburn 31, LA-Monroe 0
Auburn 34, LA-Monroe 0 – SUCCESS!
Kentucky at Lousiville – I really don’t know. I think Kentucky will be a little worse and Louisville has to be better than last year. The magic is gone.
Louisville 35, Kentucky 20
Kentucky 27, Louisville 2 – FAILURE
Tennessee at UCLA – UCLA should be a little bit better with Norm Chow, and Tennessee should be a little bit worse without David Cutcliffe. However, Tennessee plays in the SEC and UCLA plays in the Pansy-10.
Tennessee 24, UCLA 14
UCLA 27, Tennessee 24 – FAILURE
Other Games That Might Tickle Your Fancy
Northern Iowa at BYU – haha, just kidding.
Illinois at Missouri – Only because I’m tired of hearing about Missouri’s “high-powered offense” and I don’t hate Ron Zook.
Illinois 31, Missouri 28
Missouri 52, Illinois 42 – FAILURE
** Upset Special **
Youngstown State at Ohio State – Youngstown State’s team manager forgets all of the team’s jerseys, so the Penguins (seriously?) must stop by a local sports store where every uniform is out of stock…except Florida and LSU. I think you know where I’m going with this.
Youngstown State 41, Ohio State 14